I constantly wonder how my life looks in other people’s eyes. Do they think I have it easy? Do they think I have nothing going on for myself? Or are they fascinated with who I am? The thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. No one will ever know the things I’ve had to overcome. Not even my closest friends, not even my own family. The thing is that people are so quick to judge now a days. You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. I always try to look as put together as if can and I guess that’s my way of hiding from the truth. It’s just that way, everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay, that I never go through anything. If only everyone knew how broken I am, and how I’m holding on for dear life on this one last strand that’s recently become very delicate. The truth is that no one really knows me. No one will ever know me and sometimes that scares me, because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.
I asked you what inspires you, because you inspire me. I’m glad you didn’t care enough to ask back. I should begin seeking inspiration in my own ocean instead of swimming great lengths to feel something within your pond.
It hurts until it doesn’t. You think it’s going to break you, but it won’t. You may not sleep as well at night, but you will be fine. Numb, but numb and fine are the same.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”- Richard Bach – Yeah?.. well fuck that shit and fuck Richard Bach. Do you honestly think, I have the time to meet someone, click, grow an attachment, fall in love, deeply in love, I’m not talking your average crush, I’m talking, going back to the days where we used to write love letters from long distances type of love, the “making a cup of tea and blowing it until its warm enough for them to drink” type of love… to have a soul connection, miss them, crave them, submit to them, etc.. just to let them go in the future. Wdf. Listen, if it’s gotton deep enough for me to fall into that type of love, I’m not letting you go. Fuck, I hate this generation of replacers. If something goes wrong, instead of fixing it, we replace, or let it go or some other dumb shit. No. Richard Bach, who is divorced, I will not take advice from you. As long as it isn’t toxic and unhealthy, I am not letting go.
There is nothing worse than loosing your teammate.
I miss you more than you’ll ever know